Can I have your advice please ? My Writing

Hello Teachers and Students ! Read my writing please and give me your advice !

(( Indoor activities are safer than outdoor activities . Do you agree or not ? Give your reasons

))
my writing:

Most of people like doing activities in there spare time, either Indoor activities as sewing and baking, or outdoor activities as camping or playing football.
Some people say the Indoor activities are safer than outdoor ones and I agree that ! Because most of the outdoor activities are dangerous and could hurt or even kill people ! As skiing, sky diving, bungee jump and climbing mountains.Some people like these kinds of activities because they like discovering new things specially adventurous things.
However, If you like doing something Do it ! and don't let people force you to stop . Do whatever you like to do but be very careful and take care of your self !
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And may you please tell me which mark will you give me with this ??

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